​The Way Is Through

As someone who’s struggled with anxiety and depression for a long time… Our society really isn’t structured for us to flourish.

There’s this completely backwards habit promoted within our society of ignoring how we feel in order to get things done. Work, school, studying, chores, friends, fun… Everything gets prioritized ahead of our feelings, especially painful ones.

As long as they’re small enough to ignore we do our best to avoid them. But this isn’t the answer to our happiness. It’s one of the worst practices we can cultivate for our mental well being.

The quickest way around our feelings… is through.

If we don’t make space to take care of our feelings first then we are cutting ourselves off from our own capacity for great things. If our bodies and minds are always half preoccupied by the feelings we’re trying to bury in the name of getting shit done, then we’re only dedicating a part of our minds and hearts to the task at hand. 

If we can practice noticing our feelings early on we can take care of them and help ease them before they take over our lives for a day, a week, a month, or longer.

Think of our feelings as our alarm system… The longer you ignore the warning alarm, the louder and more insistent it gets. But if you hear the alarm early and make space in your day to take a diagnostic of the system you can avoid pinpoint the problem and avoid a full meltdown. The same principle applies here.

Our feelings are a piece of ourselves we need to stop ignoring just because they aren’t always pleasant. They’re a vital part of our diagnostic system and they can give us very early warning signs that something needs taking care of.

So the next time you notice stress, anger, or sadness bubbling up in your system here’s a practice for you:

⁃Notice it
⁃Make space in your day to let those feelings come up
⁃Create a safe, soft, loving environment (in bed, in a bath, blankets, tea)
⁃Remove all devices and distraction.
⁃Sit quietly, breathe, and imagine a door opening up inside you to let the feelings out of. The box you’ve put them in.
⁃Have compassion and love for whatever thoughts or feelings come through. Judging ourselves in this space is a fast track to getting more stuck.
⁃Keep breathing and notice what your body and heart wants in this moment… That might be rubbing our arms, or our belly or chest. It might be saying loving things to ourselves, it might be massaging our face or our legs. It could be crying, screaming, or punching a pillow. Just remember to breathe and say yes to any loving thing you can do for yourself here. 

The caveat to this is that if you are afraid you might harm someone else, yourself, or if you are thinking about suicidal thoughts, ideation, or planning… it’s important to contact a professional. 

There’s nothing to be ashamed of in contacting a professional if our problems or pain are too big for us to hold on our own, it’s actually the most loving thing you can do. Reaching out for help is the greatest thing we can do for ourselves, so if we notice our thoughts going to dangerous places, please don’t hesitate. 

I’ve had to ask for professional support in those times and some of the strongest people I know have also reached out for help in times of crisis. We all stand with you and are proud of you for recognizing you need support and asking for it.